‘Varying degrees of love’: Defamation trial hears ‘cheater’ led women on

Constantine Arvanitis admitted he would tell women he loved them early on in a sexual relationship, sometimes several at the same time.

It was when those women found out about each other, he told the County Court on Tuesday, that they tried to “destroy” him.

Selina Holder leaving court on Tuesday. Credit:Joe Armao

As part of his defamation trial against his former partner, to refute claims he is a sex addict, Mr Arvanitis was asked to explain whether he was leading his lovers on by expressing such devotion.

He was shown several pieces of evidence by Barrie Goldsmith, the lawyer representing Mr Arvanitis’ ex-girlfriend Selina Holder, the defendant in the case.

After breaking up with Ms Holder in mid-2015, Mr Arvanitis met two other women on the dating app Tinder and had unprotected sex with them in early 2016.

Mr Arvanitis is suing over a letter allegedly sent by Ms Holder and those two other ex-girlfriends to his current fiancee making claims he was a sex addict, violent and a cheat.

Under cross-examination, Mr Arvanitis was asked about several messages and letters he had sent to all three women in 2016 telling them he loved them.

“I used the word [love] freely, probably a bit too freely,” he told the court. “If I get intimate with them, have sex with them, I tend to use the word.”

Mr Arvanitis said there were different “forms” of love, which could get more intense as relatonships unfolded.

“There’s varying degrees of love, that’s how I understand it,” he said.

Mr Goldsmith asked Mr Arvanitis whether he had led the women on by making romantic declarations such as “I love you” or “I love you very much”.

Constantine Arvanitis outside court on Tuesday.Credit:Joe Armao

“Partly,” he said. “I met them under the pretence of a Tinder hook-up. Then, as I started spending more time with them, yes, I felt more.

“So yes, I may have misled them. I didn’t expect it to get to that.”

Mr Arvanitis said one of the women broke off their relationship after she found out it wasn’t exclusive.

He said he believed the three women, plus several others who have since made complaints, were now out to destroy him.

“Yes, I believe they went out to attack me once they found out about each other and Selina befriended them,” he said.

Mr Goldsmith also asked Mr Arvanitis to account for a long series of sexually charged messages that he sent to Ms Holder in 2016.

Mr Arvanitis claims the pair did not have sex after they broke up in 2015, but Ms Holder alleges they did.

He said the messages, which included references to explicit acts through emojis, were a ploy to keep Ms Holder happy so he could keep seeing a daughter they had together.

Mr Arvanitis claims to have not seen his daughter since December 2016.

“It’s banter, the whole lot is smut and banter. I was keeping her onside,” he said. “I was talking her language.”

Mr Goldsmith raised one message – from which he read aloud only the snippet “send me” – and asked Mr Arvanitis if he agreed its contents were “crude and vulgar”.

Mr Goldsmith asked: “It’s quite disgusting, isn’t it?”

Mr Arvanitis responded: “Yes.”

The court also heard on Tuesday that Mr Goldsmith will call a worker in the “adult industry” to give evidence about a sexual relationship she claims to have with Mr Arvanitis.

Mr Goldsmith said on Monday that the woman had emailed him during the trial to say she had met Mr Arvanitis at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in 2016 and that he was a sex addict.

Mr Arvanitis said he had met the woman when he was “front and centre” at Narcotics Anonymous meetings following his rehabilitation from a cocaine addiction.

“She attached to me. I declined. She went off the rails. She started contacting [my fiancee] Melanie [Thornton],” he said.

“She was in the adult industry so she was not shy, she would send me photos. Naked photos.”

Mr Goldsmith asked if this was the same woman who had contacted him to say she had sex with Mr Arvanitis at a building site near Chapel Street.

“Yes, I deny that,” Mr Arvanitis responded.

Mr Goldsmith: “You deny having sexual intercourse?”

Mr Arvanitis: “Yes.”

“I believe she’s seen the press and she’s jumped on board and she’s out to attack me,” Mr Arvanitis added.

The trial continues on Wednesday.

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