A lad has posted an hilarious car ad on Facebook detailing the number of sexual conquests he's had in it.
Christened the "Berari", or "Blue Ferrari", the vehicle is actually a 2005 VW Golf and the amusing listing, which starts off with the greeting "Morning Shaggers", goes on to reveal that his "shag" tally in the passion wagon actually stands at zero.
But he then rates its romp value – the potential number of "shags" he could have had in it – at a cheeky 69.
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The social media comic also confirms that the car has not picked up any 15-year-olds from "Maccies" before concentrating on its condition and how well it runs, pointing out that it does 0-60mph in "three to five business days" and has 94,000 miles on the clock.
He adds that it probably has two bald tyres, only "drinks supreme petrol because it's a fossil" and has an exhaust that is falling off – a minor defect that he believes adds character but can be fixed with a tie wrap!
Oh – and the Berari's MOT also ran out on the day he posted the ad!
Despite admitting it is going to be scrapped for £400, he then invites anybody interested to make him "genuine" offers in the region of £15,678 and asks for "no snakes" to contact him.
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The full ad reads: "Morning shaggers. Someone wanna buy this beast before I scrap it for £400.
Shags in it = 0
Potential shags in it = 69
15 year olds picked up from Maccies = 0
0-60mph in 3-5 business days
94,000 miles on the clock!
Unlocked Engine Management Light
Sometimes Unlocks EPC Light
Probs got two bald tyres
Only drinks supreme petrol because it's a fossil
Wind down windows in the back for bicep training
Perfect car if you want to break down on M1
MOT runs out today but you'd get away from feds in no time mush
Exhaust is hanging off but nothing a tie wrap can't fix. I'd leave it though – gives it character
Genuine offers only."
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