Ted Cruz Just Can't Understand Why All These 'Hot Women' Love Pete Davidson

Instead of spending his time addressing the rise of hate-based extremism or the baby formula shortage plaguing America — you know, things elected officials are expected to spend their time figuring out — Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is keeping busy by wondering why so many female celebrities want to fuck Pete Davidson.

In a segment on his Verdict With Ted Cruz podcast focused on “toxic femininity” (whatever that is), Cruz went full Nice Guy, wondering what Davidson has that other men don’t.

“How come that dude gets all of these, like, hot women?” the senator asked. “Pete Davidson was dating Kate Beckinsale — I mean, you’re talking Underworld. You’re talking, like, super hot vampire in black leather trench coat, and you’re like, ‘Really? The SNL dude? Like, wow.” (Yes, Ted. It’s truly a mystery why women of this caliber are attracted to a young, charming comedian and aren’t flinging themselves at someone so determined to strip American women of their bodily autonomy.)

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And, while acting horny on main is something Jack Harlow can get away with, it’s not usually behavior that ends well for politicians. Perhaps Cruz has already memory holed the time his official Twitter account was caught liking pornographic tweets — but, unlike that gaffe, Ol’ Ted can’t blame this blatant act of perviness on a wayward staffer. Or, maybe he forgot that his staff unwittingly cast a softcore porn actress in one of his 2016 campaign ads.

This isn’t the first time Cruz has used his podcast as a vehicle to banter about less-than-savory topics. Last month, during a discussion about Disney’s response to Florida’s controversial “Don’t Say Gay” bill, the senator questioned whether LGBTQ advocates merely wished to see “Mickey and Pluto going at it.”

Davidson, meanwhile, likely has more on his mind at the moment. Sources revealed that the Saturday Night Live star will be departing the long-running sketch show after this weekend’s season finale.

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