Woman has no idea how many grandkids she has- – and blames family split on church she describes as a cult | The Sun
AFTER raising five kids, Anne Hamilton looked forward to becoming a grandmother.
She dreamed of the day she could take her grandkids to the park, buy them treats and take them on holiday.
But Anne doesn’t even know how many grandchildren she has, let alone their names.
She claims she’s been cut off by her family after fleeing what has been widely described as a ‘cult’ church, whose own website says members abstain from TV, radio, the internet and electronic tech as a "principle of separation" – unless used for work or education.
The 54-year-old was born into the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church, some members of which discourage social media, cinema trips and speaking to 'outsiders'.
The Church, which has around 12,000 UK members, believes in the Doctrine of Separation, which says the “oneness of God” can only be known among those who “keep themselves unspotted from the world".
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The Church firmly denies that it is a 'cult', stating that it is "a mainstream Christian Church, which follows the teachings of the Holy Bible".
Anne, who left the church 10 years ago, taking her youngest two children with her, claims she was excommunicated – and says she feels completely cut off from her ex-husband and three eldest.
In what she describes as a personal tragedy, Anne’s two youngest have since returned to the church, better known as the Exclusive Brethren, and now she has lost touch with them also.
Anne, of Congleton, Cheshire, tells The Sun: “I would love them to be in touch. I love them so much.
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7“It’s unimaginable what has happened but I want to stay strong for them. I want to be a beacon of light for them.”
The Church has hit the headlines in the past with some ex-members claiming its policies have torn families apart – although the church firmly denies it's responsible for any divisions.
It was established in Plymouth in the nineteenth century, spawning generations of followers who are born into the religion.
Some ex-members view it as a ‘cult’ and say they are expected to attend worship at least three times a week and feel obliged to give up a 10 per cent of their income.
The Brethren denies there is any obligation to contribute financially and claim it’s up to individuals if they want to “support charitable activities".
Anne, originally from Northern Ireland, now prays for snippets of news about her children.
She says: “I have no idea how many grandchildren I have. I have a son and I tried, unsuccessfully, to visit him two years ago.”
I have no idea how many grandchildren I have. I have a son and I tried, unsuccessfully, to visit him two years ago
Anne claims she saw one of her grandchildren from a distance and found it “heartbreaking” that she couldn’t interact with them.
She adds: “The church says it allows people to make their own decisions about whether to see relatives or not but I grew up in it and I felt that we were constantly being told the world is evil, those who have left are evil.”
Anne says she barely knew her husband when they married after meeting at a church event in Coventry in 1986.
She left her family in Northern Ireland to live with him in Coventry.
She says that, despite having five children, she felt the marriage was an “utter disaster” and she felt trapped.
"It was so bad it got to the point where I despaired for my health and state of mind," she explains.
'Broken-hearted'
“I just had to get out. We weren’t at all compatible and the only thing we had in common was that we were both in the same religion.”
Anne, who says she suffered a nervous breakdown in 2003, claims her eldest sons, then in their twenties, refused to leave the church.
She took her youngest daughter, then 13, and eleven-year-old son with her which she says “broke their hearts – and mine”.
Anne developed breast cancer a year after leaving the church and says her youngest children were a huge support to her.
But when they turned 16 they went back to the Brethren.
My heart was yearning for someone who actually loved me. I feel that The Church has wrecked half my life and I won’t let it take anymore
Anne says the last contact she had with her youngest was in 2017 when he called to inform her his exam results. Then she lost contact.
Anne says she was devastated when someone recently told her that her son still loves and misses her.
Anne now has a new partner, Dan Bennett, from Cheshire, whom she met on holiday in New Zealand in 2018.
She said: “My heart was yearning for someone who actually loved me. I feel that The Church has wrecked half my life and I won’t let it take anymore.
"I want people to know that they can have a life outside.”
Another ex-member, Jacky Hart, who left the church aged 18, claims holidays were frowned upon along with trips to hairdressers, restaurants and pubs.
Jacky, 57, of Cambridgeshire, who attended church every weekday evening and up to six times on Sundays, claims: “You learned from birth not to mix with 'outsiders' because you’ve been chosen by God.
"You fear the outside, because you see everybody else is wicked. Nobody out there will help you and if you leave, the devil's got you. You feared you'd be going to hell."
The church said Ms Hart’s claims were an “inaccurate characterisation” of its “teachings and practice".
You fear the outside, because you see everybody else is wicked. Nobody out there will help you and if you leave, the devil's got you. You feared you'd be going to hell
Its website page entitled Faith in Practice says members must “ultimately exercise their own judgement” over whether to separate from friends or family who have left the Brethren.
Other ex-members have their own stories. Jessie Sheddon, 35, tells The Sun how she lived in a “bubble of purity” while a member of the church.
She claims she was so naïve that she fell into the clutches of a man not in the church in his 60s who worked in the local supermarket.
She says she fled in 2017 after, she claims, spending 12 years feeling she was "under house arrest" because her parents found out she intended to run away.
Jessie, from Gwent, South Wales, claims she was separated from her family and unable to be with her mum when she died from cancer six months after she left.
The church said it didn’t recognise Jessie’s account of being under house arrest and said being groomed by an older man was “not a matter that has anything to do with the PBCC".
The Church added: “Jessie Sheldon is free to make her own choices and live her life independently.”
Psychologist and ex-Brethen member Jill Aebi-Mytton says those who leave the church struggle with being cut off and often develop complex post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Jill, who helps leavers, says: “Leaving is very difficult because those who chose to go know they are leaving everything behind, their family, their way of life. They grieve for the family they leave behind.
“In Christian terms the phrase being born again refers to the moment a person decides to fully accept faith in Jesus Christ.
"But for those who leave the Brethren, they are literally born again into a world they know very little about and have grown up thinking is evil.
“They have had very strict lives and very often they lack life skills and don’t know the first thing about handling finances, finding somewhere to live, get a job or where to seek help.
“They find it very difficult to acclimatise, and I’ve had people suffer from severe mental health problems because they are suffering from very complex PTSD.”
When asked to comment on the allegations of former members, the Church said it “does not put any pressure on any of its members not to have contact with family members” who have left.
It added: “Family break ups can be upsetting for those involved, and it can be the case that some members of the family no longer wish to have contact with other members of the family.
“The PBCC understands that Mrs Hamilton’s family decided – free of any influence or coercion – that they did not wish to have any contact with her.”
In a legal letter to The Sun in response to a request for comment, lawyers for the Brethren denied members are not allowed contraception, pop music, TV and pets and that women are not allowed to wear trousers and make-up.
It stated: “Whilst it is true that in the past there were different conventions, modern practice does not regulate such matters."
The church denies members are asked to give up 10 per cent of their income, saying it is up to the individual.
It claims the PBCC does not consider the “secular world” to be wicked and “does not put pressure on any of its members not to have contact with family members who are no longer in the PBCC community".
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The letter said the views expressed by Jacky Hart were “not recognised” by the church and were an “unfair and inaccurate” characterisation of its teachings.
It said Jessie Sheldon is free to make her own choices and that her account of being under house arrest is “not recognised by the PBCC”.
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